My iCloud stopped working. I call Apple support (slightly paraphrased):
Apple Please give me your cellphone number so that I may look up your account
Me My number is XXX YYY ZZZZ
Apple I cannot find you in our system.
Me Strange - I have been using that phone number on my Apple account for more than a decade.
Apple Let's try your email address
Me My email address is email@example.com
Apple Oh no you cannot use that.
Apple You cannot use @me.com - you must use your personal address
Me That is why I have an Apple account - to have a personal email address, the @me.com is the address you gave me.
Why can I not use the email address I am paying you for that you are providing to me?
Apple Ok let's skip that page. what seems to be the problem?
Me iCloud is down for me. I get a connection error when trying to connect to icloud.com, and my email is not downloading. This started 10:30 today. I tried my phone, a web browser, and also a different network 5000km away from me on a Windows machine - all gave me the same connection error.
Apple So have you tried a different device?
Me Yes, I just told you
Apple Is your phone new or refurbished?
Me New. Does it matter?
Apple Where did you buy it? Apple Online Store?
Me Apple Online. Does it matter?
Apple Can you try to connect from a different device that you do not own.
Me I said I did. Same error.
Apple Give me 3 minutes so that I can look in to this.
... waiting 25 minutes
Apple Hi I am a senior support engineer and will be taking over.
Me I am getting an HTTP 503 on the server p71-keyvalueservice.icloud.com when trying to log in to iCloud.com
Apple Blah blah for 30 minutes
Apple What model iPhone do you use
Me It is not relevant, I am getting the error on my Mac Pro
Apple Sure but what model is your iPhone?
Me Sigh. iPhone 11 Pro.
Apple Seems like your account is locked for maintenance. It will take up to 24 hours.
Me So Apple can lock my account randomly for maintenance for 24 hours?
Apple I do apologise but there is not much that I can do for you. Just wait some more.
Me Thank you for your help.
Apple Have a wonderful day.
Me Fucking idiots.
I am slowly getting aggravated. More and more companies are starting to force surveys and ratings and likes in your face. No longer is it enough to sue someone if they do not leave a great AirBNB review, but now Amazon drivers start photographing your home "as proof of delivery" but also send text messages to your personal phone reminding you to leave them a positive review. A BMW employee just texted me a message asking me to complete the BMW survey.
I always thought feedback was supposed to be optional? You are angry - go vent. You are happy - go give a positive review. You are in the middle - aka "fine" - then no reviews.
I miss the '80s.
Just had 8 missed Fedex calls on my phone. I tapped "Call back" and listened to the IVR options. This was a clever system - it asked me to tell it what I want. So I said "Operator". The IVR told me that she understood I wanted to talk to an operator but I had to give her the reason why I called. So I said "I received a call and am trying to find out why Fedex called me". To which she responded with the same question.
Clearly AI is not there yet - a simple "I do not know why I am calling you because you called ME - I am just returning your call" is not understood because clearly someone did not think to program that in. Until the day AI can figure things out on their own we are stuck in this weird broken world.
Answer The new heart rate + oxygen sensor on the underside of an Apple Watch 6 under fluorescence micrography.